Vacate is the word

So packing up our house and moving is just about the last thing I want to be doing as I enter the third trimester of my pregnancy in the middle of a summer where we have had temperatures over 100° for like 70 hundred days in a row. Nevertheless, packing up our house and moving [...]

You know how sometimes you have an impulse to punch someone in the face? I feel that way much more than can possibly be normal.

Yesterday I took advantage of my kids being happily distracted at their grandparent’s house to run to the grocery store for a few things.
I go to the store, grab my cream cheese, eggs, cube steak and whatnot, then head to the checkout area. Of course, there is only one line open. Because it’s 110° outside [...]

But why do babies need to learn how to read?

I keep seeing this infomercial on TV called Your Baby Can Read.  And I am completely puzzled as to why anyone would want to teach a baby to read. It’s so effing ridiculous.
Why does a baby need to read? Will they be driving a car, or operating machinery, or doing anything other than crawling around [...]

Dear Neighbor…

Dear Neighbor,
I’m writing this letter in the hope that we might be able to straighten out our differences.
I know that you probably don’t realize we have any differences, since we’ve never actually spoken, but recent events have left me with strong desire to leave a flaming shit bomb on your porch, and I thought you [...]

I do have high hopes that her witty repartee will develop with age.

Caroline (yelling at Avery): You’re just sticky doody!
Me: Sticky doody?
Caroline: Yep.
Me: “”
Caroline: It’s all I could think of.

RTT: Excuse me while I fashion a headdress and thong underwear out of some mosquito netting and banana leaves.

I’m pretty sure it’s Tuesday, which means it’s time for Random Tuesday Thoughts. Be sure to visit Keely at the Un Mom for more Tuesday randomness. Plus, you can get this cool badge:
 
The super neat thing about the 4th of July in the town where we live is that no one obeys the safe and sane fireworks laws. It is [...]

A pregnancy update that sounds more like complaining than updating.

“Oh hi, sciatic nerve pain! Long time no see.”
“Welcome back heartburn and indigestion! I didn’t expect to see you so soon.”
“How ya doin’ nighttime leg cramps? I’d actually forgotten all about you.”
“Ah, pelvic pain, I remember you quite vividly. Come in if you must. Can’t say I’m happy to see you.”
It feels like I’m welcoming [...]