3 Kids, 2 Icees, Zero Straws

My mom’s on vacation from work this week and had the idea to take my kids and my nephew to the Zoo in Fresno yesterday. So we went and it was a good trip, the kids had a great time, even though it was a toasty 100 degrees outside. My only quarrel with the Zoo is with regard to their beverage straw policy. Let me preface this by saying that the Chaffee Zoo in Fresno is an excellently run establishment. It is a small zoo by San Diego standards, but excellent nonetheless.

So, back to the straws. We stop for lunch and I give Mom the orders and go off to wrangle the kids while she handles the food procurement. When she makes it back to the table with the drinks, she sets down 2 Icees, 2 Pepsi’s and a Hawaiian Punch. No lids, no straws.

“Where’s the straws?” I ask. 

“No straws,” says Mom.

Apparently, there is a strict no lids/no straws policy at the zoo for reasons of animal welfare. I’m OK with that, I could see where they could have problems with straws drifting into enclosures and being eaten by the animals. But to sell an Icee with no straws is a serious beverage miscalculation. Have you ever tried to drink and Icee without a straw? Imagine a 4 year old and a 2 year old drinking Icees with no straw. It’s not pretty.

Of course we could have purchased a gallon size commemorative drink container, complete with sipping straw, and full of Icee, for the low low price of $249.99. No, I think it was about $7. Which is $4 too much especially when it does in fact hold a gallon of Icee, 3/4 of which will never be consumed.

So the girls drank the (bright red) Icees straight from the cup. Avery, who developed a very nice technique in which she squeezed the cup to form a little spout, still managed to dump it on herself. Twice. Luckily it was so hot that the Icee evaporated almost instantly from her clothes, leaving only a bright red stain behind. Way to go Zoo. Way to go.

Next time I will remember this and smuggle some contraband straws into the zoo so we can drink our Icees the way God intended.